“It was obvious that something wasn’t right from the start,” said Price. The night Catherine was born, Price says she didn’t want to look or touch her. Her maternal malfeasance continues to this day. Playgroup pickup was something to dread, she recalls no landmarks such as a first tooth and when Catherine is sick, Grandma is called in. She admits to ignoring her daughter’s attempts to get her attention and not wanting to be physically close to her. “I did hug Catherine, but it was always half-hearted,” Price said. “I always told her I loved her but I never really felt it or meant it.”
That is just awful. Particulary when there is another child in the house now, Poppy, 2, a daughter who she calls “the love of my life” by her current partner.

I can understand how at times we might not like our children, say, when they break stuff or hit their sister. But that doesn’t mean we don’t love them. Also, many new moms, myself included, feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of a new baby. Coupled with the baby blues or postpartum depression, it’s often very hard to bond.

I have a friend who admitted to me she wasn’t immediately bowled over by her son when she first had him. Many moms go through that. But as time went on, she grew to love her son more than life itself. That’s how you should feel when you have a child, right? Isn’t loving our children — whether it’s at first sight or through time — part of what makes us human?

Psychologists say that a mother’s failure to love her child can result from depression, feelings of inadequacy or when the child reminds her of a bad relationship (i.e., the co-parent). Price fits neatly here, although she says not so.

On the plus side, if there is one, Price recognizes her shortcomings and is trying hard to improve her relationship with her older daughter. “Sometimes, if I’ve been playing with Poppy, she’ll come and sit next to me, put her head on my shoulder and her arm round me, waiting for me to cuddle her,” she said. “I look at her little face and know I’ve hurt her. I do care deeply for Catherine, but I have just never felt the same bond with her.”

Instead of a good night kiss and “I love you, honey,” Catherine hears a nightly whisper in her ear. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been with you.” Isn’t your heart breaking?

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Q.My family moved to South Florida recently and Fay will be our first tropical ”event.” My husband and I are a little worried about how our two kids might handle it and, with the prospect of being without electricity, it will be harder than usual to keep them distracted. Does Action Line have any ideas to share?
A.First of all, try to keep a level head. With all the rushing around to stock up on hurricane supplies, the calamitous TV newscasts and worsening weather, it’s easy to get worked up about an impending storm. But, if your children see you keeping your cool, they will, too.

Here are some tips for keeping the young ones occupied and calm before the storm:

• Don’t leave the TV on constantly: Check periodically for updates, but you don’t need to follow continuous coverage; it only heightens stress.

• Get a tracking map: Teach them how track the storm themselves. Getting a grasp of the storm’s location and intensity will empower them with some sense of control over the situation — and make it interesting. You can download a tracking map at www.nhc.noaa.gov/at_track_chart.pdf.

• Let them help around the house: Besides cleaning their own rooms (as if!), have them take inventory of hurricane equipment; fill flashlights and radios with fresh batteries; hand dad fasteners while he puts up shutters; bottle tap water for the pets. Such small — but important — tasks will keep them focused and give them a sense that they’ve had a role in protecting the family.

During and after the storm, you may be without power. Some basic entertainment should serve you well:

• You can’t go wrong with board games. And some, like Monopoly, can drag on for hours. Bonus!

• You may already have some of the kids’ required reading for school; even if they didn’t get the bookworm gene, there’s just something about reading in the dark with a flashlight that kids universally seem to love. Or, when you have some down time, read to them out loud; humor and sound effects are a plus.

• Speaking of flashlights, what’s a ghost story without one? Gather ’round after dinner and spook each other out.

• Whip out the crayons and (washable) markers to let the little ones take out their stored up energy on paper.

• Before letting the kids frolic outdoors, make sure it’s safe; downed wires, flood waters, tree limbs and other debris can pose serious dangers.

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In February, doctors at Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston removed the fetus from McCartney’s uterus, took out the tumor and then returned the fetus. Ten weeks later, on May 3, Macie Hope McCartney was born again. Read The Full Story

 By Dr. Roger McIntire

Just when it seems you’re getting the knack of parenting, your child enters the “No” stage. Learn how to handle the power struggle between you and your toddler.

Two-year-old Joshua’s “No!” is accompanied by a sly look at Mom. He is testing his mother’s limits, but he is also trying to navigate his own limits. He is asking, “Are my parents a part of me, or do we think independently?”

You’ve just started to finally make some parenting progress on the basics of sleeping, eating, and successful toilet training . . . and then the “No” stage takes over.

Weary parents, don’t despair! Here are some tips to help you manage these trying times.

Your Child and No!

A few months ago Joshua learned his hand was part of him, and his mommy’s finger between his first teeth was not. This leads to two conclusions: Biting mommy’s fingers doesn’t hurt him but the consequences vary, and biting his own fingers hurts every time.

Not long after this discovery of independence, the milestones of eating, sleeping, and toilet training become the early battlegrounds for the “No” stage. Here, a child has an advantage because he has his own inside information: “Aren’t you hungry?” “No.”

The power struggle begins.

Your Role As Parent

For the first time, parents don’t have complete information or control. They can’t directly force a child to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom (successfully). They need their child’s cooperation, and the child quickly discovers that there is power in that!

Parents may view these early power struggles as a time to be strong, but they are also a time to begin giving away some control and allowing a child practice in being independent.

Its great if your showing your tot how to potty train.

Do you ever find yourself playing a verbal tug–of–war with your child? You’re not alone. A study released in the
March/April 2008 issue of Child Development reports:

Mothers and their toddlers argue 20-25 times per hour on average.

The study examined children between 30 and 36–months–old in two separate sessions where the kids faced a challenging environment. In an hour long period, some children only quarreled with their mamas four times while others duked it out 55 times!

How often do you fret with your lil one in an hour?
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Here is something all parents should know that Huggies is the best diaper ever made. Ive had lots of experience with them a been taking care of babies for ten years and I’m a mother. You get less leaks with them,and their very stretchy and strong. I have tried other diapers but they only gave him rashes and it always leaked. They might be more pricey but their worth the money and less hassle.

In many bilingual families, parents make a conscience effort to teach their babes both languages. If one parent is proficient in one language and the other in another, it is normal for each one to talk to their tot solely in that tongue.

I try to chat in Spanish with my babe, but I’m not as diligent as I’d like to be. Luckily, her nanny is teaching it to her every day. And, at this age, she is soaking words up like a sponge.

Just the other day we were on a walk and she looked up at me and said, “Mano!” A little puzzled, I thought to myself, “Mano?” Then it hit me, “Hand! That means hand in Spanish!” So I reached down and her tiny palm met mine and off we went.

In Sunday’s New York Times Magazine, I came across an interesting piece on baby talk.Most parents are curious about how their child measures up to the developmental milestones and physical growth charts.

While some parents brag about their tot’s precocious behavior, others secretly worry about their lagging babe, especially if the lil one isn’t talking much.

To learn what these parents can do about it,

Terrance Paul from Infoture created LENA (language environment analysis) for $400. According to the article:

Terrance Paul’s current venture (LENA) was inspired by a well–known study that found that professional parents uttered more than three times as many words to their children as did parents who were on welfare. The children in the less talkative homes turned out to be less verbal and to have smaller vocabularies. Other studies have suggested that these gaps affect later professional success.

LENA is a voice recorder that attaches to the kid’s clothing and reportedly assesses children’s verbal skills as well as their exposure to verbal stimulation. In the future, they hope the device will also be able to account for speech entropy, which is the adding of new words, phrases or sounds to their skill set.

Critics of the LENA system have legitimate concerns about how words, syntax, and verbal growth can actually be charted using a recorder. Others argue that parents of LENA children will converse more than normal in efforts to better their child’s LENA scores. And, some lil ones who may just be slower to mature in dialogue could be identified as “having a problem” when their timing is off in comparison to their peers.

But many agree on one simple idea – the more you speak with your children, the more you provide them the tools and confidence from which their language can evolve.

Tell us, would you buy a LENA if you were concerned with your babe’s language development?

By Heather Moors Johnson

Infant-development experts believe that the first years of a child’s life are a prime time for learning. And you don’t need classical music, language tapes, or fancy flash cards to stimulate your baby or toddler’s brain. Her best learning tool is you. Talk, sing, read, and laugh together — it’s this kind of everyday interaction that matters most. But sometimes it may be hard to think of new ways to stimulate your little one (especially after you’ve been up all night soothing her cries). Our 50 fun — and scientific — activities will inspire you.

1. Make eye contact. Take advantage of those brief moments when your newborn’s eyes are open, and look right into them. Infants recognize faces early on — and yours is the most important! Each time he stares at you, he’s building his memory.

2. Blab away. All you may get is a blank look, but leave short pauses where your baby would speak. Soon she’ll catch on to the rhythm of conversation and start filling in the blanks.

3. Breast-feed, if possible. And do it for as long as you can. It’s a fact that schoolkids who were breast-fed as infants have higher IQs. Plus, nursing is a great time to bond with your infant by singing, talking, or simply stroking that delicious baby hair.

4. Stick out your tongue. Studies show that newborns as young as 2 days old can imitate simple facial movements — it’s a sign of very early problem solving.

5. Let him reflect. Have your baby stare at himself in the mirror. At first, he may think he’s just eyeing another cute kid, but he’ll love making the “other” baby wave his arms and smile.

6. Tickle her toes. In fact, tickle her all over. Laughter is the first step in developing a sense of humor. And playing games like “This little piggy” (finish by tickling her under the chin) or “I’m gonna get you” teaches your child to anticipate events.

7. Make a difference. Hold up two pictures about 8 to 12 inches away from your baby’s face. They should be similar but have one small difference (perhaps a tree is in one but not the other). Even a young infant will look back and forth and figure out the distinguishing features, which sets the stage for letter recognition and reading later on.

8. Share the view. Take your baby on walks in a front carrier, sling, or backpack, and narrate what you see — “That’s a little dog” or “Look at those big trees!” or “Did you hear that fire engine?” — to give your baby endless vocabulary-building opportunities.

9. Go gaga. Your baby really tunes in to your silly cooing and high-pitched baby talk.

10. Sing a song. Learn as many tunes as you can, or make up your own verses (“This is the way we change your diaper, change your diaper, change your diaper . . . “). Play Bach, the Beatles, or Britney Spears. Some research suggests that learning the rhythms of music is linked to learning math.

11. Make the most of diaper time. Use moments on the changing pad to teach body parts or pieces of clothing. Narrate to help your baby learn to anticipate routines.

12. Be a playground. Lie down on the floor, and let your baby climb and crawl all over you. It’s cheaper than a jungle gym and lots more fun! You’ll help boost her coordination and problem-solving skills.

13. Go shopping. When you need a break from your song and dance, visit the supermarket. The faces, sounds, and colors there provide perfect baby entertainment.

14. Clue him in. When you announce, “I’m going to turn on the light now” before flipping the switch, you’re teaching cause and effect.

15. Surprise her. Every now and then, delight your baby by gently blowing on her face, arms, or tummy. Make a pattern out of your breaths, and watch her react and anticipate.

16. Grab a tissue or two. If your baby loves pulling tissues out of the box, let him! For a few cents, you’ve got sensory playthings that he can crumple or smooth out. Hide small toys under them, and thrill your tot when you “find” them again.

17. Read books. Again and again! Scientists have found that babies as young as 8 months can learn to recognize the sequence of words in a story when it’s read 2 or 3 times in a row — this is believed to help them learn language.

18. Play peekaboo. Your hide-and-seek antics do more than bring on the giggles. Your baby learns that objects can disappear and then come back.

19. Get touchy-feely. Keep a box of different-textured fabrics: silk, terrycloth, wool, and linen. Gently rub the cloths on your baby’s cheek, feet, and tummy, describing the way each feels.

20. Don’t forget to give it a rest. Spend a few minutes each day simply sitting on the floor with your baby — no music, bright lights, or playful tricks. Let him explore, and see where he takes you.

21. Make a family album. Include photographs of relatives near and far, and flip through it often to build your child’s memories. When Grandma calls, show him her picture as he listens on the phone.

22. Let your child play with her food. When she’s ready, serve foods that vary in texture — including cooked peas, cereal, pasta, or chunks of cantaloupe. She’ll get to practice her pincer grasp and explore her senses.

23. Pick it up. Even if it seems like your baby repeatedly drops toys off her high chair just to drive you nuts, go fetch. She’s learning and testing the laws of gravity. Give her several pieces of wadded-up paper or some tennis balls, put an open bucket under her seat, and let her take aim!

24. Practice three-card monte. Grab a few empty plastic food containers, and hide one of your baby’s small toys under one. Shuffle the containers, and let him find the prize.

25. Build an obstacle course. Boost motor skills by placing sofa cushions, pillows, boxes, or toys on the floor and then showing your baby how to crawl over, under, and around the items.

26. Play “follow the leader.” Crawl through the house, varying your speed. Stop at interesting places to play.

27. Now follow his lead. As your toddler gets older, he’ll stretch his creativity to see if you really will do everything he does, like make silly noises, crawl backward, or laugh.

28. Be a funny face. Puff up your cheeks, and have your toddler touch your nose. When she does, poof! Have her pull your ear, and then stick out your tongue. Make a funny noise when she pats your head. Keep to the same routine three or four times, then change the rules to keep her guessing.

29. Feel your way. Walk around the house with your babe in arms, and touch his hand to the cool window, some soft laundry, a smooth plant leaf, and other safe objects, labeling items as you go.

30. Tell tall tales. Choose her favorite story — replace the main character with her name to make it fun.

31. Create a zoo book. On your next visit, take photos of favorite animals to include in an album. Later, “read” it together, naming all the familiar creatures or adding animal sounds and stories.

32. Let him be the boss (sometimes). Build confidence by giving your toddler a choice between two items whenever possible: different-colored bowls at mealtime, for instance. He’ll learn that his decisions count — and get practice naming his colors.

33. Put her in the spotlight. Together, watch old home videos of your baby enjoying her first bath, learning to roll over, playing with Grandpa . . . Narrate the story to build language and memory.

34. Count everything. Count how many blocks your toddler can stack. Or the number of steps in your house. Or his fingers and toes. Make a habit of counting out loud, and soon he’ll join in.

35. Make more out of storytime. Point out little details in the pictures, and ask your toddler questions, ranging from the abstract (“Why do you think he doesn’t want to try green eggs and ham?”) to the concrete (“Have you ever seen a white dog?”).

36. Turn off the tube. Your baby’s brain needs one-on-one interaction that no TV show, no matter howeducational, can provide.

37. Change the scenery. Switch your toddler’s high chair to the other side of the table. You’ll challenge his memory of where things are placed at meals.

38. Shake it up, baby.Teach her to twist and shout, do the funky chicken, or twirl like a ballerina.

39. Make a mug-shot memory game. Take close-up pictures of all the impor- tant people in your child’s life, get double prints — and you’ve got a set of matching cards. Lay them faceup on the floor, and help her find the two that are alike. As she gets older, you can alter the memory game by starting with the photos facedown.

40. Play in the rain. Jump in puddles. Sit in wet grass together. It’s a fun, albeit messy, way of learning about wet and dry.

41. Hunt bugs. Look at pictures of harmless insects (ladybugs, crickets, butterflies) in a book or magazine, then go to the park to find some.

42. Joke around. Point to a photo of Uncle Frank, and call him “Mommy.” Then tell your child that you were being silly and laugh at your “joke” to build her budding sense of humor.

43. Dress up. Let your toddler play with some of Dad’s old shirts. Dig out old winter hats, scarves, or orphaned gloves. Put yourselves in pretend situations, and see where his creativity and imagination take you.

44. Speak volumes. Gather a few different-size cups or plastic containers, and let your child pour water from one to another at her next bath. Sometimes she’ll pour too much, other times too little. Talk about which cups are bigger and which are smaller.

45. Wear rose-colored glasses. (Or yellow or blue.) Pick a color, and ask your toddler if he can spot it when you go on a walk or car ride together. Then let him pick a color for you to hunt.

46. Put your kid to work. Little tots can help sort laundry into darks and whites. Your child may even be able to pick out which clothes belong to her.

47. Go to the library. Take advantage of storytime, puppet shows, and rows and rows of books.

48. Take a cue from Sesame Street. Dedicate each week to a letter of the alphabet. For instance, read books that start with A, eat A foods, cut up snacks into that shape, and write the letter on your sidewalk with chalk.

49. Play it again, Sam. Dig out the box of your toddler’s old rattles and mirrored baby toys. You’ll be amazed at the new ways he finds to play with them.

50. Talk feelings through. Cuddle up at bedtime, and ask your child what made him happy or sad that day. What made him angry — or proud? You’ll help him recall the day, understand the past tense, and label his emotions. This is an activity to keep up — right until he heads off to college.